Discipling your kids (part 2): Reading the Bible together
We all know that Bible reading is a key part of helping our kids know Jesus. That’s obvious. But actually doing it? That’s where lots of us get stuck.
And if you’re anything like me, not knowing what to do or how to do it can create so much friction that it stops me from even trying in the first place. (If I don’t try, I can’t fail, right?) If that resonates with you, you’re not alone. Most of us didn't grow up with parents who read the Bible with us, so lots of us are just figuring this out on our own (with whatever little energy we have after a long day at work).
The good news is that we don’t need to figure this out by ourselves. There's a simple, repeatable shape we can lean on that takes the guesswork out of what to say once the story's finished.
Start by reading age-appropriately
Before anything else, there's just the reading (and it looks a little different depending on our kids’ developmental stage).
If they can't read yet, we do the reading. Read out loud, from a children's Bible, with them next to us looking at the pictures while we talk them through it.
If they're a newer reader, involve them in reading. Read out loud with them; consider taking turns line by line or with each page, sounding out the harder words together.
If they're reading confidently on their own, let them do it! They can read the passage out loud for both of you to hear. Or maybe they’re ready to start trying an adult Bible (if you try this, consider alternating between your Bible and their Kids Bible).
Once that part's done, the guesswork usually creeps in: the story's over, and now what?
A shape to use
A lot of advice about reading the Bible with kids stops at "ask good questions," which sounds helpful until you’re actually sitting there trying to think of one. Instead, what’s more helpful is a shape: a repeatable sequence, so we don’t need to come up with something new each time:
1. One thing it shows about God
His power, his kindness, his patience; something true about who he is.
2. One thing it shows about us
Where we see ourselves in the story: our fear, our need, the places we fall short.
3. One way it points to Jesus
How the story explicitly or implicitly teaches anything about Jesus: “this person was merciful, just like Jesus is merciful”; “God looks after needs, and Jesus rescues us from our biggest need.”
4. One difference it makes
A concrete way that one or more of these truths should make a difference to their life at home, with friends, at daycare, or at school.
Now, these can be asked as questions (and if you used this structure for your own Bible reading, that’d be a good way to go about it). But open-ended questions can be hard to answer, especially for children. Depending on their age, it’s often more helpful to supply the answer within your question. We also don't need all four points every time, especially with younger kids.
Take Jesus calming the storm:
With a toddler, one point is plenty: "Jesus is really strong, isn't he?"
With a five or six-year-old, we can go a little further: "What did Jesus do? He stopped the storm! Only God can do that. Jesus rescued his disciples from the storm. Do you think he rescues us too? Can I tell you the biggest way that he rescued us?”
And with a child in year 6, you might even put these forward as questions and try to answer them together: What do you think this shows us about Jesus? (He’s powerful and in control even when everything feels out of control) What does it show about the disciples? (They were scared; they needed someone to rescue them) What difference does this make when we feel scared at school? (Jesus hears when we cry out for help. He doesn’t just calm storms on the ocean; he looks after us and can rescue us when school is stormy as well).
Giving it a go is better than getting it “right”
Lots of us can feel pressure to “get the Bible right” and answer every question. But Jesus doesn’t expect that. He mostly wants our kids to begin recognizing the sound of his voice (John 10:3-5).
Remember, every Bible story shows us several true things about God all at once. He might be fair, kind, and strong, all in the same passage. Landing on any one of those things is great, and teaches our kids something about who God is. That’s awesome!
Same goes for the hard questions we can't answer. "I'm not sure why God let that happen, but I do know Jesus is good, and we can trust him" is an amazing response. Kids don't need us to have all the answers. But they need to see us trusting Jesus, even without all the answers.
One last thing: reading the Bible with your child will feel unnatural at first. And it probably will be for a while. That's normal, and it passes as we get used to it and as our kids understand what to expect. It’s not an overnight thing, and we shouldn’t expect visible payoff every time. Understanding happens slowly and quietly, and it takes time to see it blossom.
This really starts with building confidence. Ours, and eventually theirs.
This is the second in a series of posts on discipling our children: